160 Hours: Underway

This is part 3 in a delusional series about me trying to take off work for a whole month. You can read the earlier parts here: Part 1 is my plan to take a month off, burn down some of my paid time off, get a good rest, and work on some of the other projects I've been too busy to do. Part 2 is me watching that plan go straight out the window and realizing I had more than a passive part in that fault. So, if you don't like jumping into a story midstream, or you'd rather watch a car crash happen than hear about it, go back and read those sections first.

Now, to continue the story...

Well (sigh), I'm finally "off." Last week did not go well. I posted an update last Tuesday, but it wasn't until Thursday night when the report was finished and I was "done" enough to leave. Driving home at some time past 6:00 p.m. I felt both like Bob Cratchit and Ebeneezer Scrooge. I had lived through a frustrating week of my own making, and I would have a lot to think about and sort out while on vacation.

The plan was that I should have been 2 weeks into my vacation by that point, and I was just starting now. I had promised myself I wouldn't leave without clearing out the big backlog of reports waiting for my review and getting a report out for its own review. But I compromised with other things I felt also mattered (see Issue #2 of this adventure). Why?! And why couldn't I just walk away on December 4?!

I sit here now, a week later, and still don't have a satisfactory answer that doesn't make me sound screwed up in the head. I have even checked my email and gone in to meet with the manager to get his comments to my report. Has too much of my identity fallen into my work again? The image above is from a Wikimedia Creative Commons link of Don Quixote in the Mountains. Reflecting, I now feel more like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; both fool hearty and tired crusader and witness who knows better.

On the upside, I have made some progress into what I wanted to do over break: I've rearranged the office area, which will re-purpose the room into a desk work area and outdoor gear storage. This will free up space in the shop and the family room. The family room has been a wreck since the upstairs remodel and we've been debating what to do with it. I think I want to turn it into a seating area around the wood stove; somewhere quiet to read or talk. We also are looking at moving the guest bed down here. We rarely have overnight guests and my fiancee could convert the current guest room into a workout studio. We had considered turning it into a full on den, and maybe we will, but trying to fit the desks, the bed, and the furniture overcrowds the large room.

There has also been a good amount of relaxing and goofing off. I'm on to my third audio book and have logged more hours playing video games than I'd care to admit. Some of the other projects will probably be happening next week: an insert for a large window to keep the heat in, attempting to repair my old TV (supposedly a capacitor needs replaced), and prepping for a private teaching gig next year.

... and perhaps learning why I chase windmills and the interpretation of my own journey.

UPDATE: 160 Hours

Writing is like traveling: it is inspiring, one can fantasize about all the things they'll do, and when they get around to doing the least bit of it they'll be  sharing their stories with the everyone they bump into at parties. Writing is also like traveling because the hardest, most mind numbing part of it that makes you question why would you ever do this to yourself in the first place is the hours you'll spend staring into space hoping something will magically happen. 

I should have known. I did know. There is really no one else to blame but me. 

I agreed with myself that there were two things that I needed to do before walking out and taking these 4 weeks off: 1) clear out the backlog of papers waiting my review and approval for nearly a month. 2) Finish writing the final report for the overseas project I worked back in October. Last week was going to be the week to do both. I would be focused, it was a short list, totally doable. 

Well, last week I was two days in and I left work having not touched either item. So I downshifted, booked my calendar for "work time" and focused. But I couldn't help myself, things just seemed to keep happening. By last night, I only had one item accomplished and maybe half of number 2. So I reflected: what the hell happened? I had a plan but made different choices in the moment, why? The long term visionary me was incredibly disappointed in the moment-to-moment me. But what did I put ahead of my two goals? My vacation?

Well, there was the regular noise. People stopping by looking to chat. They were good people, great people, friends and the most popular topic was "why are you still here?" If hanging a Grinch-style "Go Away!" sign wouldn't have been career limiting and painted me as antisocial, I would have done it. And yet secondly, there was a few items I deliberately prioritized higher than leaving. We need to hire more employees and our staff is stretched, so I helped review resumes. One of my students from two weeks ago was having trouble with the exams and the stress was getting to him, so I helped him out. On the drive home last night, I saw that I chose to put a few other things first. And doing so is both good and bad. On the one hand, I'm not working to get ahead. I want to help employees, I want to master my skills, I want to analyze data, solve problems, and make a difference. On the other hand, the problems will always be there, there is always something to work on, and the job will kill you if you let it - - so I should take care of myself and escape whenever I can. 

So I still have one thing to finish before I can leave and the dilemma is not how will I do it, but rather doing it while not sacrificing the other thing I want; well at least not too badly.    

Three more working days this week. I wonder if I can cut it down to one?

P.S. To any of my colleagues and friends who are reading this and perhaps engaged me these past two weeks, don't think I bear you any frustration. If I've waved you in or answered your call it was because I wanted to talk with you. And likewise if your call went to voicemail, it doesn't mean I didn't want to talk to you, I just may have not been at my desk.

160 Hours - "Temporary Retirement"

As you can tell from my other posts, I had to learn how to not burn myself out. Well sadly, 2017 got away from me. It wasn't that I regressed, I just had prepared for what to do when what you enjoy also happens to be your job. March was pretty quiet, so I started a few new initiatives at work and only expected 30% of them to work out. Well, they all worked out. I taught 5 classes (one being mostly new curriculum), was asked to help with an analysis that no one really understood the under the hood mechanics of, and my efforts with the cross corporation continuous improvement group were well received and took off.

As a result two... well 3 things happened: I was working Saturdays (some paid overtime - - which allowed me to hire a guy to mow my lawn), and I accrued a ton of unspent vacation time, and... I'm overdue for some time off.

So, last month I asked my boss and told the people I support: I'm taking December off. The plan is to take off for 4 weeks straight. I need to wrap up a few things this week, but as soon as I can - - bam! I'm out!

There will be some resting, but I don't want to stay idle for 4 weeks. Earlier this year, I stopped guitar lessons because I had no time to practice - - well, I'll be practicing. Plus, I want to do some strength training. There have been a few back-burnered house projects, I've been meaning to write some articles (get published), and I might have a fun side job starting up in 2018 that I need to prepare for.

I've never taken off 4 weeks straight, but I have taken off 2 weeks and I know there are phases like: I need to rest, I'm bored, when does work start, and finally this is fun, I don't want to go back (and... I don't think I remember my password or where I put my badge).

So stay tuned for updates on my journey through the stages, what they are like, and what to expect if you temporarily retire or take a sabbatical .